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Real Wisconsin News

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Jul 03rd
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Army Develops New Virtual Game After Criticism at Summerfest

screenshot of the original Virtual Army ExperienceThe shutting down of a popular game at Summerfest called Virtual Army Experience has led the army to reconsider its techniques for recruiting youngsters. “We thought an exciting romp through an urban environment in a Humvee with guns-a-blazing would excite our nation’s youth,” said Brigadier General Joe Anderson. “Apparently, Summerfest patrons are not looking for fun, so we’ve developed a game called Virtual Army Home Experience."

 

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US and World
United States Added to State Department List of Human Rights Violators In a surprise declaration, the State Department has added its own government to its list of top human rights violators after the release of documents proving the use of enhanced interrogation techniques against captured suspected members of Al-Qaeda. A State Department spokesman said, “The United States government has proven once again that it ignores all international laws and standard...
Local News
Man Who Lost Dream Home to Flooding Says it is Not Enough Nobody Was Not Hurt James Trebedeau and his wife Linda built their dream home along the Fox River in Brookfield two years ago. Now, they stand a few hundred yards from the home as a cleaning crew pulls out their furniture, paintings, rare Ming Dynasty vases, and various other items from the sprawling ranch. To James, it’s not enough that nobody was not hurt. ...
 
Sports
Ted Thompson Secures Asshole of the Year BREAKING NEWS!!!Green Bay Packers General Manager Ted Thompson made a somewhat surprising and extremely strong case for "Asshole of the Year" in Wisconsin by shooing Hall of Fame Superbowl Quarterback Brett Favre out the door from the Green Bay Packers this week.  ...
Money
Sallie Mae Subject of Unfair Criticism For the past several years, SLM Corporation, better known by its flowery fresh moniker Sallie Mae, has been the subject of increasing negativism. Anti-capitalist Chinese red commi sympathizers, from our very own sea to shining sea, have made complaints about sweet Sallie being less than nice in her lending practices. As a result, whiny sniveling college student mush brains and recen...
 
Life
Charlton Heston’s Gun Finally Pried From His Cold, Dead Hands Weeks after film star and National Rifle Association spokesman Charlton Heston died, authorities were finally able to separate him from his gun. Mr. Heston had apparently been sleeping with the 1873 Winchester Rifle, sometimes claiming he was “going home” with the gun. Unfortunately and ironically, Heston cannot be buried with the gun because of state laws, and because he had promised ...
On Campus
Bars to Offer New Obama Slammer With the popularity of Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama, especially on college campuses, bars all over the nation are marketing a new drink called the Obama Slammer (Slamma).  The drink has not officially been endorsed by the Obama camp, but it is the official drink of his Facebook page. ...
 
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Oreos Are The Best Food Ever

We are "redirecting" a lot of bandwidth here, so you may need to let the video load a few seconds and move the slider back to avoid pauses.  BTW, FYI, the new Bush budget is over 55 Oreos of Pentagon spending. 

Coalition Casualties in Iraq

 

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RealWisconsinNews.com, Real Wisconsin News and it's affiliated blogs attempt to produce articles, stories and other literary treats that are usually without journalistic merit and are generally factually challenged.  Names, places and events are generally fictitious; any resemblence to real people, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and pretty interesting in its own right.  All contents are intended as parody, satire, our opinions or other general silliness and should be construed as such. We publish pretty much whenever we come up with something that amuses us and can get off of our bar stools, though we strive for new publication every Sunday night. All typos are the alcohol's fault. All material is copyrighted, however, you may feel free to copy and paste our material as long as you give us generally accepted attribution and link back to us.