Real Wisconsin News

Martin Lawrence Admits He Plays Serena Williams, Family

 Martin LAwrence as Serena WilliamsActor and Comedian Martin Lawrence has admitted to Real Wisconsin News that he is in fact Serena Williams, and has been playing her for years. He also plays the role of  Serena’s father Richard Williams, as well as Oracene “Big Momma Brandy” Price, Serena’s mother. Lawrence says that he meant no harm by entering the women’s tennis arena. In fact, the entire concept was to provide young tennis phenom Venus Williams with an instant family, but the ruse was simply taken too far.

Martin Lawrence as Richard Williams“Venus was playing very well, and the WTA wanted to promote her as one of their stars, but they were worried about her not having a family,” said Lawrence, working out in New York for the U.S. Open. “They asked if I’d play her father during the matches, so I became Richard.” The WTA then created a back story that involved a divorce so that Martin could also play Big Momma, and never required the two characters to be together in the stands. However, the attempts to create a family for Venus led to a slip up that created the current state of affairs.

“We were doing a photo shoot,” admits Lawrence, “and I decided to play around with a younger look. Then we gave birth to Serena.” The photos were all superimposed to create a family portrait, but the press began to ask about Serena, and whether a second Williams sister could compete for glory. “Honestly, the first time I put on the girly outfit and played in a tournament, I just wanted to meet Monica Seles because I thought that scream she did when she hit the ball was sexy. I Junk in trunksucked at first, but I eventually got the hang of things. Then it got kind of sketchy as to how I was going to get out of tennis, so I pretended to have a nervous breakdown to get out of acting and comedy in order to focus on my tennis.”

Martin Lawrence as Big MommaThe WTA, which has been accused of allowing men into the sport before, had no immediate comment. Both Billy Gene King and Martin Navratalova  were allowed to play as women for extended careers, but the farce ended with the player, not extending to cardboard cutouts of family members in the stands, and three-hour makeup jobs for closed-set interviews. Lawrence claimed Serena’s weight issues were really his way of handicapping himself while playing against women, and sometimes he will add as many as three pillows in “Serena’s” undergarments to create the appropriate amount of added junk in the trunk to make competition even.

 

When asked if this revelation might kill women’s tennis, a WTA spokeslesbian simply said, “Sharapova.” Speaking of Maria Sharapova, look at this web page by some guy who is way more than obsessed with Maria Sharapova . Honestly, we’ve seen obsessed fan sites before, but this guy is the closest to being carted off in a straight jacket.  It’s creepy, funny, and inspiring. Wait, wasn’t this story about something other than Maria Sharapova?

Last Updated on Monday, 10 September 2012 23:34

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