Real Wisconsin News

Fiscal Cliff No Longer Welcome at Cheers

Cliff Clavin, longtime patron of Cheers bar, is said to be no longer welcome to step up to the bar where everybody knows his name as "Fiscal Cliff." The other patrons at the bar had been complaining that they had to spend their time drinking away their problems next to a mail carrier whose salary "rapes our wallets." Norm, often seen as Cliff's best bar friend, had this to say: "Being a straight painter who works for myself, I can't stand freeloaders who work cushy government jobs and then use my tax money to get wasted every day after work. If he wants to get drunk, then he can start his own business and use that money to buy booze." 


Sam Malone, former relief pitcher and now owner of Cheers, said, "When I was working hard as a major league baseball player, I never complained about tax breaks for the wealthy like Cliff does. I just threw the ball and earned the money I deserved. If Cliff can't handle the heat, then he can go find another career. I hope they cut the entire postal service. No one sends letters anymore, anyway."

In town on a business trip, Dr. Frasier Crane was reconnecting with his friends at the bar. "The clientele in this establishment once saw me as, dare I say, uppity. However, they now realize that government employees who garner entitlements are the true enemy of the working class Plebeians. It may be an unwise man that doesn't learn from his own mistakes but it's an absolute idiot that doesn't learn from other people's."

The general demeanor of a number of the patrons was combative towards Cliff.

Last Updated on Wednesday, 02 January 2013 19:11

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