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Wednesday, July 25, 2007 15035
A sweet little Plymouth girl made over 100 prank phone calls in order to test the efficacy of Sheboygan’s 911 system. The young lady performed a vital public service, and should be commended for her efforts. Surely, countless lives will be saved because this little heroine took it upon herself to test the system and expose the faults that exist in our current 911 configuration, both in technology and in dealing with people. “You’d think someone would have gotten her name before she made 100 pranks for Chrissake!” said Sheboygan police officer Jim Bratz. “I mean, she’s eight—just ask her. I’m not putting those operators down or anything, but they’re freakin stupider than eight-year-olds, to be honest with you.”
Friday, September 07, 2007 5201
I went to the Walworth County Fair last weekend and stepped in cow crap, which made it similar to the Wisconsin State Fair. The harness racing was cool, made forty bucks on the kids around me betting on the wrong horse, couldn't believe they didn't know the one that pooped last would win. The stand with Strawberry Milk ran out, which made me yearn for Senator Kohl's milk at the Wisconsin State Fair , uh, strike that, I don't "yearn" for Senator Kohl. I won Packer tickets in a fundraiser auction at better than an ebay price, but couldn't afford the giant carving of a beaver made out of some million year old tree stump which understandably went for $800. My kids had a great time spending my money on games nobody on earth can win. Why did the carnival helpers think my name was Mark? And why did they smell like cabbage? Relearned that farmer's daughters are hot no matter what.

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