Tom Cruise suggests Britney Spears may need meds.

If you cry for help, will anyone hear? Read the book to find out:

0
0
0
s2smodern

Jacksonville News

New Jax Witty

Articles, reviews, advice, and legitimate research to go along with some back-handed comments. Think of us as Jacksonville's mother-in-law.
  • Guy in Blue VW Probably Deserves What He Gets
    I'm not sure what the penalty is for shoplifting, since I've never really done it, but I do feel that a guy I saw recently stealing from a convenience store probably deserves to get the book thrown at him. The problem is that it probably won't happen, so this guy will keep on taking his own personal discounts until someone bothers to go after the bum, though perhaps writing about him will help him admit the error of his ways.
    I was at the Gate on McCormick and Ft. Caroline when I saw this mask-less guy checking out. He walked past me, so I gave him some space, but he came right back in because he noticed this particular Gate had firewood. He was very excited because he claimed he'd driven all around the previous day and no one had wood for him. I suppose cooler temperatures lead to a run on wood, though it does seem like the money you save by burning wood is no longer saved if you cruise around looking for wood all day and then end up getting your wood at a convenience store. And, yes, I know how that sounds, but it's what happened. 
    So this guy (who drives a blue Volkswagen Passat or Jetta, not red like the one pictured) decides he needs some wood from Gate. No, wait, he decides to get two bundles. I clearly heard him ask for a second (and only a second), at which time the cashier rang up two. He paid and was on his way, grabbing THREE bundles of wood, right in front of two cashiers, me, and God. He must have decided Gate was running a Buy 2 Get 1 sale on wood. I guess he figured no one would notice that he was grabbing his wood. Worse, I think he knew what would happen if someone did notice. 
    Basically, nothing happened. One cashier suggested turning off his gas. Both agreed he was on camera. The consensus seemed to be he'd be in trouble later on, like when the store manager reviewed the week's video recordings with Sheriff Mike Williams. 
    After a few extra minutes of the guy finishing gassing up (probably running low from his quest to find wood), the woodburglar drove off. I didn't have my camera, but the crew members at Gate were certain the guy would get caught. I find it slightly odd that he not only paid for one package of wood, but two, just to steal another. Maybe he believed he could more easily steal an extra if he had one in each hand. Then why not steal two without bothering to enter the store? Maybe it was a last-second decision rather than a premeditated crime, but he certainly drove away (calmly) rather than come back. 

    If you know a guy who drives a blue Volkswagen like the red one above, likes to have fires, and doesn't like wearing a mask, then you might want to remind him that shoplifting is a crime. And that there are all kinds of trees in Jacksonville just waiting to be cut down. From what I saw of this mid-aged white male, he could use the exercise. I have also seen two blue VWs in a week since this happened, so don't just drag old men or college students out of their crap-box Jettas to accuse them of stealing.
  • People Can Still Hear You, Even if You're Wearing a Mask
    I realize that masks make talking and hearing others more difficult, and it also provides an odd sense of security that may or may not actually exist. While it's true people can't see all of your facial expressions, they can still hear you. However, if you're like me, your mask might entice you into forgetting that others can actually understand the words coming out of your mouth. 
  • Arlington Mural an Enigma and Kind of Silly




    I've driven past the Arlington mural along the Arlington Expressway plenty of times by this point, and I'm still trying to figure it out. I know, it's art and individual and abstract, etc. But it's still supposed to mean something. To the artist, to residents, and to visitors. I'd like to make an attempt to decipher what the Arlington mural means in all or any of those contexts so that I can better explain it those who look to me for answers.


    From an artist's perspective, I don't really know. Murals are huge, and they often resemble something painted by high schoolers with deeper meaning infused by 2nd graders. Always uplifting; bright future; justice; peace; hope. Often painted steps from a given city's worst "projects" housing. Those big smiles looking down on weekly violence.

    Technically, I enjoy the Murray Hill mural because it kind of says, "Screw murals." A giant painting of Bill Murray, who isn't even the neighborhood namesake, is a poignant reminder of absolutely nothing. And if your part of town doesn't need affirmation from bold,smiling,god-sized children, then it's cool to have fun with the whole thing. Arlington is different, and someone seems to believe that the stereotypical mural (peppered with a few oddities) was the way to go.

    I actually don't know who makes the decisions about murals in Jacksonville. I was never asked for my input on Arlington's mural. Maybe the city just arranges for an artist to get his or her hands on a building and leaves it at that. Maybe each community has a committee. I have to believe there are sketches and then some kind of discussion before the mural goes up. Then again, I believed that sort of thing would happen for major local developments, but it only really happens if neighbors get wind of a project. If nothing else, the artist probably drew something out and had someone critique the idea. Even if it's a mom who generally thinks everything the artist does is wonderful. Anyhow, the point is that there's probably a plan before the mural gets underway, as it's not just some graffiti hastily sprayed on an overpass. I only mention it because certain elements of the Arlington mural seem somewhat haphazard. Or they are intentional and artistic to a point I don't understand them.

    Since the Arlington mural is a bit of an acrostic, we'll begin the analysis with the A and then move on to each letter in order to better understand the true meaning of the mural.

    A

    The A is written on a helmet that is Jaguar teal and also reads "Duuuval" and "904" (apparently in case it ever gets lost). However, it's not clear that the helmet is actually for football, as its adorning the head of a small Asian girl. Or boy. But we're talking kindergarten, so I assume it's more of a bike or scooter helmet. Maybe a street-crossing helmet. The white A is created with three strips of athletic tape being used, I would imagine, to repair a major crack in said helmet. Clever, yes, but also an opportunity to remind parents that cracked helmets need to be replaced immediately due to lack of efficacy. The A rectangle also has an animal pattern faintly added to the background. It may be Jaguar print, further implying a football franchise connection. The black smiley face sticker is an enigma, since it's not a sticker that tends to be used in reality, and the emoji version is old unicode and has no current meaning beyond being old-school.

    The meaning of the A itself is a bit of a mystery to me. Based on other letters, it appears there is a meaning, but I'm not entirely sure here. Since we do see some kind of a helmet, A might represent Athletics, though I'm not sure Arlington is home to more athletes than any other part of Jacksonville. Any A, especially one that seems slightly jagged, could represent Anarchy, but the rest of the imagery does not support this interpretation. The most obvious association is that the A means Asian, being that this is the only Asian person depicted, but that would be kind of racially insensitive. It could stand for America, where throngs of Asians/girls have become pro football players. Achieve? Action? Angry? Animal? Aggressive? I don't know. My personal theory is that the artist was told to incorporate the Jaguars, Duuuval, 904, and an Asian somewhere in the mural, and the first tile was used to check all the boxes.


    R

    The R-rectangle is fairly straightforward, though surreal, with a young man in a barbershop chair getting his hair done...in the shape of the R. I believe the structural integrity of an afro is such that a shape such as an R cannot be sculpted. Maybe a pyramid or another solid shape could work. However, when I searched for hair sculptures, I was able to find elaborate creations using long hair, which is not what's implied in the mural. So the R isn't really possible, but what does it mean?

    It could be that the R stands for Reality, an ironic word given the image. My daughter and I both surmised Razor because of the lines in the kid's hair, as well as the fact that he's seemingly wearing a covering to protect himself from the haircut he's receiving. I'm not sure how a razor is meaningful to the whole community. Arlington is known as a place to buy or fix a car, but I'm not sure barber shops are more prevalent than in other locales. Risque could be the word, since the haircut could be considered as such, along with part of Arlington's reputation as "Sin City." Respect would be a go-to mural concept, though it's not an obvious connection to the image. I guess it could be Race or Racism, but that seems to be creating an unnecessary discussion based on what we see. Same goes for Rap. Based on having taught some Duval middle school children, Reading could have been a better choice than whatever this represents: he could be holding a book as he gets his haircut.


    Li

    Remember when I questioned whether the mural artist had planned the whole project out or not? When every letter gets its own canvas except for two that are squeezed together, viewers might assume someone counted or divided wrong on the building. Or ran out of ideas. Regardless, Li ends up being one of the tiles. I figured perhaps the combined letters created an important word, but Li is just a Chinese unit of measurement. The image itself depicts the back of someone's head, presumably looking up at the partly cloudy skies before an afternoon rain storm. The hair is cut short and dyed (pink, green, and blue) to once again show an animal pattern, Jaguar or otherwise. Interestingly, the Li is not shaved into the head this time, but superimposed over the image. I imagine the word we are supposed to see is Lift or Light. Something beginning with Li. It could be a reference to "Lift Every Voice and Sing," which has a Jacksonville connection. Liberal? Listen? Life? I guess I expect my murals to have many right answers rather than no right answers/all wrong answers. Anything seems like a stretch and unrelated to both the previous tiles and the area of Arlington, or at least that's how I'm starting to feel as I move through the mural.


    N

    Just when it's not certain the letters in the mural mean anything at all, the N seems to represent a Night scene. Albeit an imaginary night scene, complete with a woman looking up at butterflies. Sure, there are some butterflies that fly around at night, and they're called moths. It's possible the enchanted-faced Black lady is mesmerized by Arlington's night-flying butterflies, or she may be enthralled by the stars. It is true that you can sort of see some stars in Arlington, sometimes, so I can buy stars and gigantic moths as a standard Night experience. Since there are 5,000 types of Nymphalidea butterflies, that could be the answer. Maybe dreaming during a Nap. Or this tile might be all about Nature, and maybe the stars are fireflies or mosquitoes getting electrocuted by one of those zapper lights.


    G

    In case anyone had any thoughts that this acrostic wasn’t really an acrostic, the G seems to most definitely stand for Giraffe. Because it depicts a giraffe. In Arlington. 100%, without a doubt, G is for Giraffe. Within Africa, there may be some Giraffes in Nigeria or Namibia, though I am not sure how those African countries relate to Jacksonville any more than does a random image of a Giraffe. In the painting, the G itself seems to represent the sun nearing sunset on the savannah. We can see an Acadia tree in the background, further indicating the scene is in Africa and not Arlington. Perhaps the meaning is more interpretive than literal, and we’re being encouraged to be more like the Giraffe. Long necks to watch out for our neighbors or something of that nature. If you see a Giraffe in your dreams, it might signify welfare and happiness, or that you currently can’t make your dreams come true. Personally, I’ve never seen a Giraffe in my dreams, but maybe people who drive by one every day on the Arlington Expressway do see them. Giraffes can also signify leadership, since tall people are often seen as leaders, and short people who are leaders will often pretend to be taller.


    T

    The T itself seems to be part of some industrial structure, maybe a bridge or the Arlington Expressway. And then there’s some abstract art in the background and foreground. Technology is kind of a blanket word for advancements in society, but we often don’t associate bridges with the word. I’m thinking Tacky could work, as there are parts of Arlington that fit this description, and the tile itself is kind of Tacky. Maybe Threshold, implying Arlington is on the cusp of greatness (or turning into the worst section of Jax). It could be Turbulent, since the art conflicts with the industrial scene, and people keep shooting at each other in Arlington.


    O

    Again, this tile seems to obviously imply Ocean (according to my daughter). I first saw it as Oprah, but then I looked closer to see all the waves surrounding the Ocean lady. The O itself could be a full moon behind Oprah the Ocean lady, maybe saying something about tides. I don’t know. The Ocean isn’t really part of Arlington, as it’s more of a river and rivulet part of town, but I guess the water is brackish. I suppose the word might really be Ominous, as Oprah the Ocean lady could flood Arlington during a hurricane.


    N

    The artist could be going for Nothing on Red Background for this tile. We can see some sort of plant life spreading, but it’s unclear if it’s in the water or on some red ground. Maybe it’s pond water in a jar. The closest plant I could find with an N is Nepeta, though I don’t know if it spreads in this way. I suppose it’s Nebulous, if nothing else.


    Conclusion

    The Arlington mural is a good example of the danger of an acrostic, whether meanings were forced or non-existent. A viewer is looking for all of the letters to mean something if some of the letters do. Even if we toss out the letter meanings individually, the mural as a whole seems to have no real message. Random people and scenes, which don’t fully (or even partially) represent a diverse area with an interesting history. For example, we have a movie studio in Arlington, and a university, some nature preserves, an outdated mall, a Fortune 500 company, lots of river access, and tons of slummy apartment complexes in between a sea of ranch-style.smallish homes. Kids play in culverts and swamps. People flock to various dollar-type stores. And there are all kinds of nonsensical diagonal streets that get you lost in sketchy neighborhoods with people fixing cars in their front lawns. That’s Arlington to most of us. Not Giraffes, weird hair choices, and Oprah. The best I can say about the Arlington mural is that it is not cliche, but that's not the same as saying it makes sense or inspires viewers. Also, if an elementary school put this whole mural together, I apologize for critiquing your ideas, but your teacher should have helped a little more.

    Search New Jax Witty
    Related Stories
     
     
     
    Thanks for reading. See more of my content:

    Satisfamily - Articles about being happy as a family
    Passive Ninja - Web Design in Jacksonville
    McNewsy - Creative Writing
    Educabana - Educational Resources
    Brave New Church - Church Website Design
    Voucher School - Pros and Cons of School Vouchers
    Luthernet - Web Design for Lutheran Churches
    Sitcom Life Lessons - What we've learned from sitcoms
    Mancrush Fanclub - Why not?
    Epic Folktale - Stories of the unknown
    Wild West Allis - Every story ever told about one place
    Educabana on Teachers Pay Teachers (mostly ELA lessons)
    Real Wisconsin News - Satire from Wisconsin
    Zoo Interchange Milwaukee - Community website
    Chromebook Covers - Reviews and opinions

    Brian Jaeger - Resume (I'm always interested)

    Contact Me
  • I'm From Milwaukee, And, Yes, The 2020 Election Results Are Normal

    I was forced to write this article because of the number of people I've encountered who, upon learning I'm from Milwaukee, make such statements as, "Your city really blew the election." I can't speak for Philadelphia, Detroit, or Atlanta, but I can tell you that election results coming in late and favoring Democrats is fairly typical in Wisconsin because of Milwaukee. If you take a look at the Wisconsin results, you'll see that Dane County (Madison) and Menominee County (87% Native American) had higher percentages in favor of Biden. Democrats will often win Milwaukee with over 60% of the vote, but not always. Clinton won 66% without ever visiting the state. Obama got 67% in 2012 and more total votes than Biden in 2020. Biden got 69%. That IS the highest percentage I could find for Milwaukee County, but it's still in the ballpark, so I wouldn't claim anything odd about the election there. 
  • Profiles in Courage: Judge Shore

    According to USA Today, a local judge named Brad Shore might have broken some laws when he donated to President Trump's campaign, displayed political signs at his home, and cut off the press from watching how his team manages issues with ballots. Either it's a fake news nothing burger, or it's the exact reason we have rules for judges in these situations.
  • Another Case Against Pitbulls


    I'm sure some people in Jacksonville have already written me off as that guy who hates pitbulls for no reason. Even my own kids weren't really believers because "So-and-so has a nice Pitbull" or "Their dog is only part pit bull." But when one of these monsters comes charging out of a house in your own neighborhood and attacks your leashed dog on the sidewalk, that's when even the kids believe what I've been telling them.

  • Is Jacksonville a bad place to live?

    I was busy learning about Google Search and people finding my websites when I came across this question on Google, answered by a Quora forum post. That's kind of sad, right? People must ask if Jacksonville is a bad place to live a lot, which is why it ranks high on Google, but the answer comes from some random person's assessment. Since I am also some random person answering, it might as well be me. 

    No, Jacksonville is not a bad place to live, relatively speaking.
  • Jacksonville High School Search - An Annotated List of Options for East Arlington Families

    Let's say you've got kids, and like most parents, you want the best for them. Choosing the right high school for your kids can be complicated, especially if you haven't had to make similar choices in the past. I've decided to detail my search for the right high school in this article in the hopes that I can reference it as the time nears for enrolling my eldest child in high school, but my research might be able to help you, too. 
  • Yes, It's STILL Selfish of You When You Don't Mask Up
    I don't want to harp on this much more, but after Day 1 of my kids being back in school, I figured I'd give it one last go. Here's why it's selfish of you to not wear a mask.

    I am sure you are clean and healthy and all that, but someone out there is sick. You might believe yourself to be strong-like-bull, too smart, or immune. Or you're ancient and think it's your time when it's your time. Please, feel free to play roulette with your 2nd Amendment souvenir, away from the rest of us. You are not too smart, healthy, or clean to catch a virus. You might well survive it, or you might never even know you had it because you're such a freakin Adonis. While you are asymptomatic, possibly for weeks, you could infect dozens of people because of your odd belief that viruses respect your freedom and patriotism and religion.

    Soldiers give up many of their freedoms in order to serve our country, and you like soldiers. The best leaders also submit themselves to others. What did Jesus do, again? Good people give of themselves to protect others. You have the freedom to post idiotic rants on Twitter and drive around with a flag of a college/breakaway country you never attended/fought for, mainly because your stupidity in those cases cannot kill someone else. If you are a carrier of covid, and you infect three people who infect three people and so on, until it ends up in a retirement facility, then you just killed 20 senior citizens because you wanted to cry about wearing a face covering, which makes you a total snowflake.

    It's not hard to do. Asians can do it, so we can, too. But we can do it better, like all the other stuff we do better than others. Even in Florida, most people actually wear shirts and shoes into stores. Remember when every store had a sign for that? People kind of know it's expected now that you cover your plantar warts and your back tattoos while shopping. And covid is much more serious than people getting grossed out by your yellow toenails. 

    I once read an article about why men in one African nation with a huge AIDS outbreak refused to wear condoms. A man being interviewed said it's like eating candy with the wrapper still on. I thought he was so ridiculously stupid, refusing to wear a simple (freely-distributed) item that could save his life. Stupid and selfish. Even the dumbest antimaskers would agree that a man in Zimbabwe in the 90s and admittedly sleeping with hookers should have been wrapped up or even double-bagged. So wrap yourself up.  

    At my kids' school, like in many places here, wearing a mask was deemed optional. For most kids, that meant no mask, ever. My kids tried to wear their masks, but they also felt they had to explain why, probably because other kids asked them why. The school had a few kids in masks because they had babies or old folks or compromised immune relatives at home. But I let my kids off the hook, telling them that if no one else was going to wear a mask, it really wasn't a big deal. Masks work when everyone wears them, limiting breathing projection to a couple of inches rather than 6-8 feet. We can handle being two inches apart from most people. Even my close-talking uncle stays roughly 6 inches from my face. 

    But here's the deal, and this is really THE deal. Even if you don't believe. Even if you don't have that baby or sick relative. Even if you think God will protect you from anything. IT'S ALL ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE, NOT YOU! So the fact that my kids said they were wearing masks because of a father with a compromised immune system should have led every single jelly-faced kid at that school to put on a mask. Or the fact that one kid has a baby brother. Or a grandparent. If one kid is concerned, then all kids should have the compassion to just wear a freakin mask. I've seen entire schools jump rope for heart conditions or dye their hair pink, and if you want to think of it as charity to those who aren't as fortunate, then go right ahead. Love your neighbor as yourself, especially during a pandemic.

    Maybe the numbers are off a bit, and maybe 100% mask usage wouldn't really eradicate the coronavirus. This article is even being finished as the numbers keep dropping in Florida, so I'll look like the extremist, especially since I don't even have a relative in a retirement home in Florida. Forgive me if I think the government has only a few basic functions, one of them being to protect its people. If the government disbanded all the military, police, and fire forces, you'd be worried. If it told us to do whatever you want during a hurricane or didn't post any speed limits, that would be irresponsible. But it's OK for our government to avoid mask mandates (the ONLY tool it really has) during an honest-to-goodness epidemic? That's not the American way of fixing problems. At least it wasn't back in 1918, when it was seen as UNpatriotic to avoid wearing masks. 

    I am sure that America is probably eventually heading towards herd immunity, and that's maybe what a lot of government officials and millennials want us to be. If you want to sacrifice a few hundred thousand old folks to become the first country to reach herd immunity, I guess that's where we're headed. My thought (and I'm just spitballin here) is that we mask up until there's a viable vaccine, and then allow the vaccine to create the herd immunity we all crave, as long as the antimasker/antivaxer crowd participates in allowing the government to inject them with a vaccine/tracking device. 

    If you want to be selfless and Christ-like, please consider wearing a mask whenever you are near other people. 

  • Jogger, The New Jacksonville Video Game
    I can remember heading over to the Radio Shack on North Avenue in Milwaukee back in the 80s and seeing the new Tandy home computer, which was so much cooler than the Commodore VIC-20 we had at home. The display model even had a video game for me to play: Frogger. Forty years later, I read an article about the guy who created Prince of Persia, and the article must have mentioned Frogger, which I had on my mind as I drove down Beach Boulevard. After I nearly hit a homeless guy who had jumped out of the way of a bicycle (going the wrong direction) and into my lane, I thought that a version of Frogger called Jogger would be pretty awesome with Jacksonville as the setting.

Donate to Scott Walker Without a Trace

Donate using PayPal
Amount:
Note:
and

Designed by Passive Ninja