To be honest, that meteorologist on Channel 13 is kind of fat. She does know all about sleet, snow, hail, rain, and that kind of stuff. All things being equal, however, I’d rather see a real sexy lady offering up the kind of data that makes me hot, or cold, depending on the front. 

 

I swear, she could shelter a small homeless family from an Arctic storm with those monster-thighs of hers. Hey, I don’t want anyone to discriminate against healthy girls who want to be on TV, but couldn’t she go to some other state. We’re one of the fattest states already, and she’s not setting a very good example for young girls in their developing years. 

I remember when my sister was fat and I called her “Flab-a-ho” and said “A-chubby” while pretending to sneeze. She got the message pretty quick, and now she’s the better for it. Maybe the sports guy should, you know, drop a hint once in a while, like saying “let’s throw it back to the linebacker for a look at the weather.” Or the anchor could ask, “How’s the weather looking, fat-ass?”

Tuesday, July 17, 2007 18719
Milwaukee Public Schools will begin its scaling down of actual education in its schools in order to better reproduce the criminal justice system its students are preparing themselves for. The latest budget has job losses in all areas except for social workers, psychologists, safety assistants, and nurses. Teachers will be teaching more students for more hours with less help, but the plan is for the psychologists and social workers to convince students to behave better. If that doesn’t work, of course, the safety assistants are specially trained to subdue students without the use of plastic handcuffs, pepper spray, or knowledge of martial arts by saying things like, “Don’t you make me get up out this desk!” If the safety assistants are useless, the nurses can offer ice packs for black eyes.
Thursday, December 27, 2007 12234
People have been making bad decisions about sexual encounters for ages, but a recent development in long-term memory inhibition has led to the creation of a new form of morning-after pill, suitable for both male and female. Both pills promise to erase an uncomfortable situation, but use drastically different methods in doing so.

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