While  nobody really knows or cares what either The Magna Carta or The Wisconsin Idea say, both documents mean a lot to people. In fact, a tattered version of the Magna Carta, circa 1200, was found right around the same time Scott Walker was busy rewriting The Wisconsin Idea, and that old piece of English paper will probably sell for millions of dollars (though not as much as the $21 million one sold for in 2007 or 1/14th of the amount being cut from the UW-system for those keeping score).

 

However, besides saying the King is also subject to the laws of the land, do you know what the Magna Carta really says? Yep, that's the right answer. It doesn't really matter, partially because it's not our king and not our land. Additionally, did a large portion of the people in Wisconsin know what The Wisconsin Idea really said and how it was being changed, or why it even mattered? Nope. Do UW-system students learn it like a fight song? Do they learn fight songs?

 

According to THE authoritative Yahoo Answers, The Wisconsin idea, at least partially said this: "The boundaries of the University are the boundaries of the state." It also likely added Progressive mumbo-jumbo from some time in history called The Progressive Era, but that's probably not ringing any bells for you, either. Real Wisconsin News's definition of Progressive is a Socialist who is smart enough to call himself something else, like Obama.

 

Scott Walker, looking to demonstrate his ability to bring both sides of the aisle together, was simply trying to update the beloved document. You know, freshen it up, like how Act 10 and Right to Work freshen up the workplace. Real Wisconsin News has been allowed to see the edits of the wording of The Wisconsin Idea as it was planned to occur over the next four years. While Walker's staff also had newly discovered photos of Bob LaFollette and a Russian call-girl, the main body of work dealt with the nearly meaningless Wisconsin Idea catchphrase--"The boundaries of the University are the boundaries of the state. Basic to every purpose of the system is the search for truth to extend knowledge and its application beyond the boundaries of its campuses." Or something mostly like that.

 

Year one. The plan was to slightly change the wording to better reflect an academic mission for the UW schools: "The boundaries of the University are the boundaries of the state. Basic to every purpose of the system is the readying of students for the workforce beyond the boundaries of the campuses."

 

Year two . The idea in year two was to remind UW-system employees of their place. "The boundaries of the University are the buildings in which the University is housed. Basic to every purpose of the system is the readying of students for the workforce beyond the boundaries of the campuses."

 

Year three.  "The University must improve based on a continuous improvement business model. Basic to every purpose of the system is the readying of students for the workforce in the private sector."

 

Year four. "The state will improve the University using metrics based on a continuous improvement business model. The private sector businesses will decide how the readying of students for the workforce shall occur."

 

When asked if his edits were a bit Orwellian, Walker said, "While I have seen parts of Citizen Kane because a high school film teacher made me watch it, I relate much better to Forrest Gump for some reason."

 

Wednesday, December 31, 1969 35560
Videotaped Confession Trounces RumorsWhile he may look great in an expensive suit, Herb Kohl finally admitted Tuesday that he is, in fact, straight. This revelation may come as a surprise to the homosexual community and the Shepherd Express, but actual footage of the senator admitting his orientation can be seen as well in some older Milwaukee Bucks video footage obtained by Real Wisconsin News. In the footage, Big Dog Glenn Robinson asks Senator Kohl if he’d like a sip of his Kool Aide, and Senator Kohl clearly states, “No thanks, Dog. I’m straight.” Big Dog seems to answer with, “I gotcha, big man.
Thursday, June 11, 2015 10928
by Dan Brubus We’ve won against the big Union bosses and fat-cat public school teachers! The rest is spitting in their eyes and pissing on their graves. Some of you teachers are calling the latest measure ironic, but most of us don’t care or care to know what ironic means. I make triple what the priciest greedy teacher ever made and I don’t know what irony is. That goes to show that I’m smart, like Scott Walker, and teachers are dumb, like teenagers. The newest proposal to relax teaching requirements is simply brilliant because it’s wasn’t even on anyone’s radar. Total decoy, thrown in for those high-school-in-a-box companies that want to take over MPS. Station a few minimum-wage guards at the door. Sure, great if it passes, but the idea was take some of the heat off the other proposals. The ones that rip the guts out of school districts after we’ve already hijacked the greedy teachers’ will to fight. No limits on vouchers. The eventual goal is no limits for any income or place or anything. Blank check for mom and dad. Send the kids to a religious school if you want government cheese for God. Send them to Brookfield Academy if you want to spend an extra ten thousand over the voucher. The day is soon on this one, and in the same way Walmart put the local shops out of business, the same will happen in education. Walschool. The drain on the public schools won’t put them completely out of business right away, so a few measures have been inserted in the state budget to help them along. One is to allow all private and home schooled kids play sports with the public schools. Hey, their parents already pay big taxes to overpaid teachers, so their kids should get some kind of benefit. Besides, a lot of public schools are having trouble fielding teams because parents don’t want to send their kids to poor institutions, so they’ll need the players. The budget will end Chapter 220 and SAGE, both measures that tried to fix failing schools through smaller class sizes and integration. Many reputable studies have shown that smaller class sizes do nothing to help learning and that multiculturalism is just a myth. The expansion of charter schools would also be great if the new teacher licensing proposal does pass, but it’s not really necessary, since public school employees make about double what their former co-workers who have been laid off since Act 10 will take to do the same job, so it means more Walschools. Efficient, fiscally-responsible Walschools. Teaching beyond the Common Core and its lies. Teaching America how it’s done in Wisconsin. Showing the nation who’s driving the pickup if Scott Walker becomes the next president. And then it’s on to a national standard for teacher licensure. Maybe a new college standard, too. GED? Teach Women’s Studies. Middle school dropout? Teach economics. The point is it doesn’t matter. I went to college for four years, partied it up, got a job with a wealthy family member making wealth for the wealthy, and that all any of us need. I mean, Scott Walker, one of the great leaders of our time, couldn’t handle the rigors of college so he went on to become rich and powerful instead. That’s the American way, unwanted immigrants and those who would take away my right to own an assault rifle to protect my stockpiled food cache.

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