While at a hotel in Philadelphia several weeks ago, I was surprised by Hillary Clinton. She was not the robot I’d come to expect.. As I rode the elevator next to her, I couldn’t help but glance her way. Though she seemed weak from her apparent pneumonia and her face was more weathered than I’d remembered, there was a twinkle in her eyes as she said hello to me.

Floor after floor, her perfume wafting towards me, I felt as if she was trying to say something to me, a die-hard Republican. She coughed flirtatiously several times. Just as the elevator stopped on my floor, I thought I saw her checking me out as I held my Wall Street Journal near my loins. Something had caught her eye, and I figured it was my $4000 suit, tailored to fit me perfectly...everywhere. And then, just as we were about to part forever, she said it: “I wish I could convince people I really want to help them.”

She didn’t tell me my suit would look good on the floor next to her bed or that I reminded her of a movie star like oh-so-many women do. Instead, she was responding to an op-ed in my newspaper. And her words touched me inappropriately. She is a Clinton who coined the failed vast right wing conspiracy; now part of the vast left wing conspiracy. Could she really care about people? Even if it was a ruse, could she really care about what I think in order to pretend just for me? I wanted her to stop. I could not bring myself to say no, but she could tell I was uncomfortable. “Make sure you vote,” she said, knowing full-well that she had grabbed me just a bit too roughly. Me, retracing each line on her face as I exited to the hallway, feeling dirty for hearing her and believing her.

Could this woman who I have compared to the devil in multiple Tweets really care about me? Or was I just a prop, used to fulfill some kind of sick fantasy? I know she won’t return my calls, so I don’t bother, but I also will never be the same again. No amount of time will be able to heal my wounds. However, my new BMW Alpina B7 will help me to move on.

Thursday, September 27, 2007 15154
An 18-year-old female student was arrested Sept. 5 on charges of theft of a mathematics textbook valued at $77. The woman walked past the cash register without paying. When asked if she was carrying any items she hadn't paid for, she said, "Yes."
Wednesday, November 09, 2016 12248
Donald Trump won America over by telling it like it is, and the fact is that most female heads of state are not beautiful women. Trump has been reluctant to give specifics, but based on past criticism of women, it would make sense that only two female leaders would make the cut in a pageant. Those two would be President Kolinda Grabar-Kitarovic of Croatia and a younger version of President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner of Argentina. The rest of the female leaders would not tempt President-Elect Trump to kiss them uncontrollably or grab them anywhere without permission. Most female heads of state are simply not Mr. Trump's first choice. However, Trump has expressed interest in negotiations with Princess Kate, Princess Beatrice Borromeo (photo), and Princess Kay of the Milky Way, calling them all solid 8s, maybe 9s. Bill Clinton has confirmed that all female heads of state and princesses over the age of 22 are on his bucket list.

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