Plans for new schools will be adopted all over the nation in response to President Trump’s suggestion that they be more secure. The new schools will ensure that students are able to learn without fear of being targeted by fellow students with assault rifles. These schools will be able to protect students in an environment conducive to learning. However, the added security will come at a cost.

 

Fort Trump High School

Old schools will be retrofitted and new schools will be built to the following specifications:

The Keep--This is where the school office will be located. It’s the tallest and strongest tower. Armed guards will have a view in all directions from here. If all else fails, all students can retreat to the keep.

The Moat--Water surrounding the school in order to make sure only authorized personnel are allowed in or out.

The Towers--Each school should have at least four towers, but these should be rounded so that invading gunmen can’t knock them down by the foundation. These towers will provide an excellent vantage point for archers. As a side note, archery will be taught as a gym class as an important life skill and as a way to man the towers with students.

The Gatehouse--A single, fortified entryway will be designed into every school. The drawbridge will be lowered at the beginning of the school day and up until the start of classes, at which point the structure will be sealed for the day.

The Barbican--This passageway will lead to the gatehouse, but any gunmen trapped in here can be doused with boiling oil or other traps.

The Great Hall--This is where all of the learning will occur. Most schools will divide this space into classrooms, but confining all students in one central location helps to keep them safer, since the hall will have several armed law enforcement officers.

 

Weaponry

It’s recommended that the modern American high school be armed in a way that can thwart an assault by any deranged individual with a military-grade assault equipment. This includes miniguns, Katanas, black powder cannons, crossbows, grenade launchers, nunchucks, spearguns, chain whips, and AR-15s. All legal for perpetrators. Therefore, the armed guards stationed at each tower, including the Keep, the gatehouse, and throughout the Great Hall. Conversely, well-trained teachers like John Kelly could staff the guard posts during their prep periods. All guns for schools can be purchased through reputable gun dealers associated with the NRA.

 

The building boom will result in trillions of dollars for new fortress schools, as well as millions of dollars in new gun purchases, fully capable of jumpstarting the economy. As an added bonus, some schools will serve dual purpose as prisons, local armories, and neighborhood fortresses for protection against terrorist attacks.

Thursday, April 12, 2018 14536
A leading economist has released a synopsis of how public schools need to follow a business model in a new book. Chapter One discusses teachers as managers and students as labor, with Parents functioning as the board of directors, and taxpayers acting as customers, while State/Fed government are upper management. Testing/Graduation is the product. Chapter Two has: Teachers=Labor; Students=Product; Parents=Customer; Taxpayers=Board of Directors; State/Fed=Employer; Testing/Graduation= evaluation of product. Chapter Three outlines: Teachers=Labor; Students=Customer; Parents=Board of Directors; Taxpayers=Board of Directors; State/Fed=Employer; Testing/Graduation=Product Chapter Four Maintains: Teachers=Independent Contractor; Students=Customer; Parents=Managers; Taxpayers=Board of Directors; State/Fed=Employer; Testing/Graduation=Product Chapter Five hypothesizes: Teachers=Independent Contractor; Students=Customer; Parents=Customer; Taxpayers=Customer; State/Fed=Employer; Testing/Graduation=Product Chapters Six through 27 outline many more scenarios that all seem to work brilliantly on paper to prove once and for all that free public schools do in fact follow a simple business model. Therefore, common business procedures such as embezzlement and money laundering should begin immediately.
Thursday, September 27, 2007 19564
A 20-year-old was referred Sept. 20 after he was caught on video using his cigarette to burn two holes into a bike bag on a Public Safety Officer's bicycle at Campus Town East. The student admitted the vandalism and said he would make restitution of $40.

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