The Milwaukee Bucks, in the hopes of drawing more fans, are in the process of acquiring a team that may not be able to compete on the court, but certainly will entertain people. The team will begin trading for players that are considered to be freaks of nature, or at least of basketball. Their recent acquisition of 5’5’’ Earl Boykins is the first in a string of trades that will create what is known as a theme-team. Just as the Harlem Globetrotters train mediocre players to dribble basketballs off referees’ heads and throw buckets of water on unsuspecting fans, the Milwaukee Bucks will also create a buzz when they travel through the NBA as they build their record book roster. While some may call them the freaks of the league, the Bucks front office is simply referring to the new team as team representing all of society. “The players will represent the dreams and sometimes nightmares of fans worldwide, and we will create an interesting brand of basketball for a city that is used to embracing all walks of life,” was the official word from the organization.

Larry Krystkowiak will soon be joined on the bench by Curly Neal, and current player Mo Williams will stay on the roster in order to create a Three Stooges subplot. The team has also confirmed the purchase of a “short bus” that the players will ride in for the games. The bus will have a magic window that opens up so fans can see in, and the team has hired Busdriver Bob from The Doodlebops television program to drive. The half-time entertainment for each game will also arrive with the team on the bus, which will be equipped with bubble and smoke machines.

Some players under consideration include:

Earl Boykins—shortest current NBA player

Manute Bol, Gheorghe Muresan, or Shawn Bradley—tallest

Danny Schayes or son—Jewish

Shareef Abdur-Rahim or Tariq Abdul-Wahad—Muslim

Tyrone Hill—ugliest

Rasheed Wallace—most penalized

Dennis Rodman—?

John Amaechi—“man in the middle”

Tracy McGrady—most cross-eyed

Eduardo Najera—Mexican

Steve Nash—Canadian

Sunday, June 19, 2011 11601
I’ve lived in West Allis since I was born, and though I’m no mechanic or anything, I do appreciate a loud V8 engine. However, when I was watching a race last week, I started wondering how I could rig my Monte Carlo to make fire like the ones on TV. Obviously, I don’t want a rocket on my car—I just want it to send a little fire out the tailpipes when I pass someone on Highway 100. Is that too much to ask? So I went to Autozone and asked someone there if they had a device to make fire come out of my car. The guy told me they don’t sell such a product and that it would probably not be street legal.
Thursday, September 27, 2007 5152
A laptop computer and digital camera valued at over $2,000 were stolen Sept. 11 when two men entered an unsecured off-campus residence in the 900 block of N. 17th St., saying they were undercover detectives looking for a suspect. They told the students to go into their bedrooms so the "detectives" could look for him. One student asked the men for identification at least two times. The students went into their bedrooms, and when they came out they found the items missing.

Donate to Scott Walker Without a Trace

Donate using PayPal
Amount:
Note:
and

Designed by Passive Ninja