1. Jim Doyle takes a campaign contribution.
  2. Indians continue gambling operations.
  3. Milwaukee Mayor embraces boarding schools as way to help city youth.
  4. Secret underwater lab in Lake Michigan yields trick to confusing the 187 invader species of the Great Lakes to swimming back home.
  5. Inner city murders plummet as outreach programs establish fight clubs.
  6. Milwaukee County Parks take blame for county’s budget woes.
  7. Dane County officially becomes a People’s Republic.
  8. Madison constructs “aesthetic” wall on city’s far-east side.
  9. Milwaukee 7 disbands after being regularly confused with Fantastic 4, Dirty Dozen and Ocean’s 11.
  10. Upnorth secedes from state in protest over liberal hippies from Madison and stupid morons in Milwaukee. Waukesha and Kenosha Counties consider options.
  11. People too young to know any better, yet smarter and better than all of us, continue to marry people they won’t like in a few years.
  12. Beer officially made official State food after years of making case.
Thursday, August 02, 2007 13497
In response to a study published in Florence, Italy, stating that global warming will make Italy less of a wine-growing country, Wisconsin farmers have begun to discuss what that means to agriculture here. The climate is expected to change over the next few decades, and the state may benefit from being prepared for that change. Apparently, a stong possibility exists that Wisconsin would inherit the climate of the Tuscan Coast, and people all over the state are preparing.
Wednesday, September 14, 2016 12260
National, state, and local governments are paying close attention to Samsung's handling of its Note 7 debacle, taking notes on how to handle dissatisfied customers and employees. The consumer electronics giant that developed exploding phones has sent pizza to all of the stores in South Korea that have to take returns of the faulty devices, and it seems to be working. Therefore, government agencies in America are planning on similar freebies in order to smooth over policies. Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin was the first national figure to use the pizza pill, sending out Little Caesar's pizzas to all teachers and university staff this week. The state educational system has had trouble hiring and keeping competent employees after the unprecedented budget cuts to both K12 and university public education in the state, but Walker hopes that extending the olive branch with one-topping pizzas will force the teachers to realize that the cuts were to their benefit. "How many times did unions provide a nutritious pizza lunch for those who paid dues?" Walker asked. Similarly, the Obama Administration will be providing pizza to employees of the insurance companies that administer Obamacare plans. "This pizza is a reminder that together we can become a healthier nation. Together we can ensure the human right of health insurance is administered to all. Together we can enjoy a meal in every slice." Obama has taken heat for the use of supreme and specialty pizzas from more expensive pizza chains instead of the $5 pizzas offered by Governor Walker. However, Obama stressed that nothing is too good for the people who help Americans fulfill their dreams of healthy living.

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