Calendar Accurately Reflects Wisconsin’s Communities

In an effort to continue the popular multicultural tourism calendar, first launched in 2005, yet maintain factual integrity, the Wisconsin Department of Tourism has released a segregated version. This calendar will depict realistic scenes of Real Wisconsin diverse citizens in their natural habitats as opposed to staged or doctored photos to falsely represent integration. The twelve photos used for each month are as follows:

January—African-Americans celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day at the Hoopfest basketball tournament in Milwaukee


February—White ice-fishermen sit next to their ice-shack with beers in hand. Pickup truck and “Warning: Thin Ice” sign in background.


March—A group of Jewish UW-Milwaukee students attend classes on good Friday wearing their Kippahs


April— Chippewa spearfishers in boats with lights shining in the water and spears in hand. White protesters line the shore


May—Mexican-Americans celebrate the Cinco de Mayo celebration at the UMOS Center on South Chase Avenue. Colorful dresses, piñatas, and low riders in the parking lot.


June—Barbeque at the Juneteenth Day street festival. African-Americans fill the streets as police officers line the sidewalks.


July—Italian-American family lighting off fireworks and playing Bocce Ball in the backyard August—White suburban family in their yard. Dad is watering the lawn. Mom is weeding the garden. Junior is kicking a soccer ball.


September—A Jordanian Muslim family sitting around their kitchen table and drinking only water to celebrate the month of Ramadan


October—A group of overweight white men at an Oktoberfest celebration wearing lederhosen, eating brats, and drinking beer. A polka band plays in the background.


November—Three Hmong hunters standing next to a “No Trespassing” sign with five deer

December—African-American churchgoers outside of their church on Christmas Day. Nativity scene with a blond-haired Jesus in background.

Friday, December 02, 2016 7414
Real Wisconsin News has made it official policy to extend our thoughts and prayers to you at this difficult time. We know you are suffering, and we realize that a real discussion might help you to cope with how you feel, but we would rather offer thoughts and prayers. The thoughts have now moved on to a top ten list of amazing photos we never knew existed. The prayers were more of a metaphor from the start. Both were offered because that is what will make you believe you are special to us, so please allow us to reiterate our desire to submit our thoughts and prayers to you and your loved ones. Bob Costas may or may not have coined the use of thoughts and prayers to express his deepest sympathy after the 1989 San Francisco earthquake. However, by the mid 1990s, thoughts and prayers were being sent out by all local and national media, as well as nearly 9 in 10 politicians. Bill Clinton, after realizing that saying he felt others' pain was seen as disingenuous, began offering thoughts and prayers. By 2001, the United States was so entrenched in offering thoughts and prayers that no other form of sympathy would be offered until a little known newscaster a decade later said that he knew his thoughts and prayers were not enough to offer in the wake of yet another school shooting. The media was briefly thrown into turmoil as it looked for something more appropriate following monthly disasters requiring thoughts and prayers. However, no replacement has been articulated since the initial shockwave and indictment. Donald Trump will, no doubt, be expected to grieve with Americans when people are maimed or killed. As a candidate who won based on negating political correctness, many have asked whether he will continue using thoughts and prayers to empathize with his fellow Americans. There is a movement in the NBA, where names are often shortened, to abbreviate thoughts and prayers to TnP, as in, "Hey, man, I heard your cousin died. TnP, DJ." With Trump's preference for Twitter over press conferences, it's possible Americans will see something like this: School shooting was a horrible disaster. Teachers need guns. #TnP to all. I'm having steak for dinner #Trumprules Until Trump does shake up how we offer condolences, Real Wisconsin News would like to offer our continuous thoughts and prayers for the following situations affecting your lives: Natural disasters, cancer or disease, financial troubles, death of a loved one, getting shot, being bullied, erectile dysfunction, deployed soldiers, accidents, general pain, divorce, and your choice of any other heartbreaking situation for which we sincerely offer our thoughts and prayers. We, by rule, do not offer thoughts or prayers to those who are foreigners (unless attacked by terrorists or natural disaster), those who are incarcerated, or those who cause the situation for which we are offering said thoughts and prayers.
Friday, August 03, 2007 11169
The youths of Spooner going deep into the woodlands of the rural Spooner proper exploring with camcorder and camera the findings from a previous adventure. The skull and bones of a creature no longer of the living guides their misadventure into the breech. {youtube}uPn5Y5ycZY8{/youtube}

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