The adage goes that if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, so some local schools are issuing back to school lists for their students that might defy conventional wisdom. Students have long tried to get away with as much as they can, and when they are reprimanded, parents often step in and claim their child has the right to use that for which the child has been punished.

Cell phones are the best example of this, with many schools trying to impose bans on phones, mainly because they are used to text others during class. However, parents insist that cell phones should be allowed for safety’s sake, and schools must abide by the will of the parents. Also, since students are being trained to be the working masses, they should be allowed the same opportunities to avoid work that they will utilize while working someday.

Here are some of the items and rationale for those items on back to school lists:

  1. Cell phones—safety is an issue in schools. Besides, students should learn how to multitask, and someone who is not able to carry on a text conversation and take notes in history class is lacking a very important skill set.

There are ten more surprising items here:

 

Wednesday, July 25, 2007 7274
In an effort to reclaim their good name, members of the ancient Vandal tribal group have sued the major news outlets for libel and defamation of character. “Just because our ancestors sacked Rome doesn’t mean we’re uncivilized today,” said Ulteric (no last name given). “And besides,” he continued, “all we did was pillage. It’s not like we spray painted ‘Pink Floyd Rules!’ on their frickin aqueducts.”
Wednesday, July 25, 2007 16470
The Medical College of Wisconsin, under increasing pressure from animal rights organizations, has rescinded its decision to use dogs in its animal lab. Instead, the college will use cats, horses, monkeys, and parrots as its main resource for animal testing. “Dog people are very organized,” said a spokesperson for the Medical College. The intention is to maintain the policy of testing domesticated animals that people love while not having to deal with public relations problems caused by dog owners.While people might become upset about the thought of Seabiscuit or Garfield being used for live lab work, a mere 2 million people nationwide own horses, and cat owners tend to be more prone to eating ice cream and watching “Grey’s Anatomy” than being active in politics. Compare this to the whopping 44 million households that own dogs and can’t imagine their little puppies being sliced open and hacked apart in the name of science.

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